Landings.com
Landings.com: Aviation information source
  Databases  airNEWS  Contact
 
Connections

Hangar Talk: On the lighter side: Flying Jokes

 =Nav=
Editorials
News
Talk
Jokes/Fun
How-To
Reviews
Opinions
Research
Of-Interest
Destinations
Poetry/Writing
Expert Forums
Discussion Boards
Gallery
Aviation's Directory
 
Desser Tire: Americas 1st choice in Aircraft tires
  

  

Taken from the Last Page, Motorcyclist, September 1991

(The article is accompanied by a photo of a bike in the background. In the foreground we have a man in leathers w/ helmet holding a large bird from one wingtip. The wingspan is roughly as wide as he is tall...)

Perils of Road Testing No. 23

Staffer Lance Holst recently set a record by claiming the largest confirmed road kill ever recorded during Motorcyclist testing. In fact, due to the size of the bird and the circumstances surrounding its demise, Holst was required to submit to interrogation by the FAA, as well as the NTSB, AAA, the National Audubon Society and the Guinness Book of Records. We quote the official FAA report.

"During a routine evaluation session at Motorcyclist's desert test complex, staffer Holst was traveling at a necessarily elevated rate of speed whilst quantifying dynamic stability criteria of a test unit. Operating under Visual Riding Rules, Holst sighted an unauthorized buzzard on the road surface ahead, eating an unidentified dead thing (UDT). Apparently distracted by a particularly recalcitrant piece of viscera, said buzzard failed to initiate its take-off roll expeditiously and was still in the early phases of a full-power climb-out when Holst (traveling at approximately 200 ft./sec.) realized a collision was imminent. Holst's helmet contacted the buzzard just aft of the right wing root, resulting in instantaneous and catastrophic failure of the bird's flight-control system. Staffer Holst blacked out momentarily immediately after impact but maintained control of his vehicle. Later examination of his Kiwi helmet revealed substantial damage to its energy-absorbing liner, indicating the severity of the impact."

Eyewitness accounts of the incident indicate the buzzard was not developing power after the initial collision and traveled in a ballistic arc of substantial height, eventually impacting the ground in a steep nose-down attitude. There was no fire after impact. The bird was not transponder equipped and had not filed a flight plan.

"CAUSE OF ACCIDENT: BUZZARD ERROR"x

Back To Jokes

airNEWS
  (auto-generated)

Ch: Aviation (more->)

Tony Tyler: Aviation industry will handle over 3 billion passengers in ... (NWST)

Heathrow runway delay is hurting aviation industry, warns Iata chief (GUAR)

Raytheon increases pilot situational awareness with Aviation ... (AVIO)

Embraer jets receive Russian certification (JRLA)

Plymouth Airport celebrates its pioneers by naming gates for them (BOST)

Ajit Singh writes to UP CM on land for airport at Allahabad (INDI)

Airline profits pick up in 2012: IATA (TMSE)

Contract with the SAAF terminated Denel (POLI)

Denel aircraft specialists receive retrenchment notices Solidarity (POLI)

GAA signs up for BIAS2014 (BNA_)

Jet Aviation Dubai signs agreement with FEAG (CORP)

Marines hone command capabilities for Afghanistan (DVID)

Analysis: China acquires 90 ILFC stake (JRLA)

Dassault Falcon sells two jets to Wallan (TRAD)

AviancaTaca orders ATR 72 600s (JRLA)

New Issue Milestone Aviation sells 250 mln notes (RTRS)

A Chance for Ugandans to Fly (ALLA)

Col. Michael Musiol takes over 82nd Combat Aviation Brigade (OBRF)

General Aviation Taking off at MacArthur (AVIA)

Lady Antebellum chooses Skynet Aviation (REVI)

Future of GA sparks debate at Wichita event (AOPA)

The many sides of airlines (TTGA)

Ma speaks out on ICAO exclusion (TMST)

MEBA to move to dedicated Dubai world central expo site (ZAWY)

MEBAA Elects Two to Board, Ups Insurance Cover (ONLA)

Roundtable: Aviation 2013 The Latest Legal Features, Research ... (WHOS)

Research Trends and Conclusions: Aviation 2013 (WHOS)

Most Highly Regarded Firms: Aviation 2013 (WHOS)

BAE Systems Wins 400 Million US Navy Aircraft Maintenance ... (AVIA)

Natca: Sequestration Would Cripple ATC, NextGen (ONLA)

Ch: Incidents (more->)

Banner year for safety in global aviation (TN)

2012 named safest year in civil aviation history (_PST)

Neema Swai a Woman Flying Her Dream (ALLA)

Cessna aircraft makes crash landing in Malir Cantt (NWS_)

HAMM member and passenger killed in small plane crash (TYLE)

World War II Fighter Raised From Lake Michigan (CHIC)

WWII era plane recovered from depths of Lake Michigan (WREX)

Pearl Harbor Day event pulls up old fighter plane, and zebra ... (WBEZ)

WWII era plane found at bottom of lake (WZZM)

Strengthen English Skills in China's Aviation Industry (ENGL)


 
 
 [Quick NAV | Aviation's Directroy]MAY ALL YOUR LANDINGS BE GOOD ONES!
News/Forums Search/Ref Pilot-Supplies Aircraft/Parts Services Gen.-Aviation Gov./Military
GA-News Search Supplies Manufacturers A/C-Sales Helicopters Government
Forums Databases GPS/Tech. Parts A/C-Values Gyrocopters Research
Hangar-Talk Regulations Simulators Avionics Var-Services Aerobatics Military
Events/Airshows Reports Flight Tools Classifieds Homebuilding General
Offers Alerts Weather Engines Var-Products Ultralights Images
Promotions Publications Planning Mods/Restor. FBOs Soaring Miscellaneous
SITES Museums Clubs AirTransport Travel/Tours Hanggliding GA
Contact/Info History FBOs Airlines Insurance Paragliding Travel/Tours
Add-Link Organizations Flight-Schls Airports Medical Srvcs Parachute Safety
Logbook Companies Training Live-ATC Financing Balloons  
Awards Directory Simulators   Fuel    
Credits   Schools        
Contact   Safety        

   Sponsored links:
     Aircraft For Sale - FREE 90-day photo ads - AviationClassifieds.com
     Pilot Jobs - America's Pilot Employment Network - Free Access - USPilot.com
   
 
LANDINGS.COM Copyright © 1994-2012
Explicit permission required for any duplication or usage